Sunday, September 28, 2003

I am taking a class this semester called "College Success." It is a requirement to transfer to the univeristy that I have chosen to attend next semester. The class is a college sanctioned self-help seminar. The first two topics covered were Self-esteem and Personal Responsibility. The idea of being responsible for all of the choices I will make in my life was pretty scary at first. I have been very good at blaming my childhood, parents, and just about everything and everyone for any problem I have ever encountered. So, this idea that I am the one who has control over the choices that I make, and, that those choices are what will determine the outcome of the events in my life, was a major revelation.

As I said, taking that responsibilty was scary. I realized that the wall I had built up as a protection mechanism against the world was gone. I felt naked. However, once I got over the initial shock I was overwhelmed by a sense of freedom. Suddenly, I had at my disposal all the power in the world to accomplish anything I could ever imagine doing with my life.

I am satisfied.