Monday, December 20, 2004

Me and Kendra Posted by Hello

Bright & Early for Coffee Posted by Hello

Monday, December 06, 2004

Have You Ever Seen A Tsunami That Size?

Only one more week until the stinking semester is over. I have been in mild stress mode for the last couple weeks but it really got out of hand over the weekend.

In what has become my typical fashion I was working on procrastinating on writing a paper for my environmental studies class when the tsunami hit. This is the same massive wave that hits every single time I have a paper to write. In all of my previous tsunami dreams I somehow manage to get away, but in this dream, after the moon fell into the ocean (how else do tsunamis get started?), I was debating about whether or not I had enough time to go and get my dogs. I finally decide I'm close enough to pick them up and boom, I look up and there is this HUMONGOUS, El Dorado Hills size wave about to crash down. I last remember thinking, "Oh shit. I guess it's too late." And I had a few seconds to wonder if I should even try to hold my breath and how much the water would hurt when it hit.

And then I woke up.

Thursday, December 02, 2004

So it is the final two week push until the end of the semester and I can't seem to get motivated. I can't remember when my downhill slide began specifically, but I think I can pinpoint the cause.

I think it began when I came to the realization that Significant Other (SO and who shall forever remain unnamed and did I mention Jackass with a capital J) perhaps did not feel as strongly as I did, or might have (I won't admit it damnit!). So, since then I have run almost the whole gamut of loss. What is it...Let me see.....Denial (not the river duh), sadness, anger, back to sadness, does despondent come next?

I thought picking up the old blog and bitching about it here might be the smart and cathartic thing to do. I wonder if it is working yet. Maybe I should type like another million billion words and then that will be the right recipe to help me get off my ass and study so I don't get stinking "C's" in my classes this semester. UGH!

Okay, I have said this before to those who know me best, but this time I mean it. Pay attention, here it comes...

I will not, allow anyone's desires trump my own.

Thank you.