Tuesday, May 20, 2003

Why is my subconscious so easily swayed by random images from my day? Last night was the final straw in the struggle between my conscious and subconscious mind. I can't take the drama. When I wake up I am left wondering if my early am visions are some clue into my psyche or the future. Is it my mind trying to tell me something about my past. Or is it in fact just puting together some half-baked story with images I have seen throughout the day to punish me for the handful of crackers I ate right before bed.

Right before I went to bed I even went as far as to promise myself that I would have nice dreams. Instead, the Grim Reaper and many multiples of him (Matrix Reloaded ring any bells) are chasing me and a heap of other people. Scenes of a spaceship crashing and people running out of its path. Then I yank a girl off the railroad track just before the train comes. On and on it goes. Always just barely avoiding the inevitable that will get all of us...eventually.

UGH! I haven't had a decent dream in ages. By decent I mean a dream that lets me wake up with some feeling other than fear, disgust or alarm. It seems the only time I get a good nights rest is when I pass out after a night of drinking.

No comments: