Bitch Blog: Christmakwanzakah

This past Friday Q and I drove down to Sacramento to spend our first Christmakwanzakah together with my family. It would be the first time he would meet my father (gasp). Friday night we got there and talked with Grandma for a bit and then got ready to go out with my brother and his friends.

My brother is such a good guy; I cannot gush about the man enough. He was very friendly and polite. I don't know why I thought he wouldn't be though. I guess it is because it's actually me who isn't friendly and nice so I just figured he wasn't either; guilty by association. But, he isn't, so lucky me. Anyways, he does think he's quite the joker though so I had to black out his birdie.

Saturday was the family gathering at my Mom and Grandma's house. The whole gang was there. My Uncle J and his wife; Uncle M, Aunt G, and their kids; my Gram and her sister; my Mom, me, my brother and Q. A whole gaggle of folks. Anyways, we had lamb(YUMMY) and veggies and latkes(potatoe pancakes) and fruit custard tart thingy. It rocked. You can see my Mon showing off the fruity custardy tarty thingy, Q about to enjoy some squash, and the other family members at the table.

After Dinner there was a gift exchange where people pick numbers and start at the gifts. My family has a $25 limit. I brought the Disco Scarf to the exchange and did the tacky thing. When it was my turn to pick a gift I traded mine with what someone else already had. I was a little embarassed of the scarf to be honest. I didn't have enough eylash to make the ends the same length. It's okay though, I don't think anyone but me wanted the scarf anyways. The gift cards were the thing.

One thing that makes me a little crazy about holiday times is that my cousins (mostly the younger one) do not ever, and when I say ever I mean NEVER lift a finger to clean or do shit. (I am probably going to be ostracized from that part of the family now that I have talked shit, but I guess I'm already over it.) I mean seriously, their mother picks up after them and caters to their every whim. I wonder when the last time the youngest one picked up any implement that's purpose is for cleaning. I remember this one time...

Back several summers ago, my brother, my two cousins, one of their friends, and myself went to the drive in movies. I asked the youngest cousin, we'll call her Yolanda, if she would please go and find out what radio station we needed to set the car stereo to in order to listen to the movie. She said,"I don't want to." To which I replied, "I didn't ask you if you wanted to, I asked you to go do it." Then Yolanda whined, "I don't want to." Now me,"That whiney voice may work on your mother, but I am not your mother. Now get up and go ask them." Yolanda was then silent so I say, "Get and and go ask them please or I will spray water on you, like I do to the dogs, until you get up and do what I asked you to do." Then I started flicking water at her. She finally got up and went to get the radio station info.

The end.

I guess this all sounds a little harsh but man oh man, do you know what is even harsher? I feel sorry for the man that marries her. And Q thinks I'm high maintenance.

Speaking of me, here I am opening my exchange gift (it was my Mom's gift and what is funny about it is I made Q get See's candy for his exchange gift instead of a gift card), it was tons of

chocolate. I have nothing against chocolate but I am pretty sure I have had my fair share this season already. At the beginning of the month the chocolate was a little slow in coming, but by the middle, it was full bore. I'm done with chocolate for awhile. Maybe in February.

Finally, on Sunday, or Christmas day for all you Jesus lovers, I went over to my Dad's house. His wife was a great hostess. The guy who works with my dad was also their with his wife and daughter. Did I mention my brother was there to? Whe had goat with this fantastic salsa, rice, and some excellent frijoles (refried beans). My dad was super excited to show me his new house, although, I didn't get a tour, what do you think that means. I'll tell you what it means, it means he was hungover! I guess the night before he had drank a couple of bottles of wine or something. Now we all know where I get my party gene from.